A Life in Progress – Aaron C.
Fear had me paralyzed. The thought of accepting love was discomforting, and giving love was nearly impossible. The trust I had in people was non-existent, and my faith in the Lord was eradicated due to the shaming of a controlling and legalistic church. From my adolescence, processing emotions didn’t come naturally. Therefore, leading into my adult years, whenever I felt emotion, I would anesthetize myself to avoid the deleterious side effects of pain and discomfort. Now, I know that being uncomfortable isn’t necessarily a negative thing, even though it can be painful and trying at times. God designed me beautifully, with every detail of my life carefully created. All He wants is a relationship with me. However, because of my negative experiences with people, I had associated God with my feelings of rejection. He was evil, and predictable, only wanting something from me to use it against me in the future. I had no love, no savior; I was on my way to hell.
In the past, I felt inadequate or incapable of achieving things the right way, and this cultivated negative thoughts and actions. This fed into my already prominent insecurities. I began to find shortcuts in all areas of my life – from work to my marriage. I would cheat on exams, lie to my wife, and steal to save money, but every time I would cut a corner, it only fueled the lie that I was inadequate and incapable of doing things out of virtue. As a result, my insecurities grew and so did the distance between God and me.
I have now gone from drinking daily to praying hourly.
I have now gone from drinking daily to praying hourly. Three months ago, I stepped out of a life overflowing with fear, pain, and sorrow and found victory and strength in my weaknesses through Jesus Christ. Today I see the work that God has started in my life, and I have countless reasons to give Jesus Christ the glory. The changes I have felt and the growth that has happened in my life can only be credited to the power of God through the work of the Holy Spirit.
God called me to the Colony of Mercy, where I have been able to understand who God is and who I am through Him.
God called me to the Colony of Mercy, where I have been able to understand who God is and who I am through Him. He has begun a work of reconciliation in my once broken marriage through the Families for Christ program. Furthermore, I no longer believe the lies of Satan because today I know that I am a child of God – loved, forgiven, purchased with the blood of His only Son Jesus, who now lives through me.
Through God’s provision, it has been made possible for me to stay at America’s Keswick a little longer and pursue the extended Discipleship program; to practice the tools and skills I have learned while in the Colony. It is because of the addiction recovery ministries at America’s Keswick I now desire to seek the Lord fervently with my whole heart. Thanks be to God for His grace and mercy.