A Life in Progress – Cheyenne

I am a follower of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. I was not always a follower, but Jesus rescued me from the pit of hell. I did absolutely nothing to deserve His grace and mercy.

I grew up in a big mixed family, and our home was broken and covered deep in sin. My dad was addicted to heroin, and my mom was addicted to him. There was abuse and chaos in the house from the beginning of what I can remember. There was always a fear of “lacking”- whether that be money, food, clothes, housing…etc. This fear created anxiety. My parents divorced, and each got remarried, and my sisters and I were legally not allowed to have any contact with our father.

I began questioning the meaning of life. My Aunt Sylvia and Uncle Lou introduced my sisters and me to Jesus. Jesus was safe and real. He was different from anything I have ever heard. My curiosity grew – yet I held it secretly in my heart with fear that this “peace” would be taken away. Due to family disagreements, my aunt and uncle were removed from our lives.

I felt lost, abandoned, and now angry. I began gravitating toward the wrong crowd, and I smoked weed for the first time at 12 years old. Around this time, I was also raped by a different uncle. I completely spiraled out of control, and I became violent, addicted to sex, weed, alcohol, and anything else that would take me out of reality.

By 15, I was sent away to a group home; at 16, I emancipated myself and moved in with my high school boyfriend, Pat. Pat became “my savior,” and anyone who comes before the One and only true God will surely fail us and only cause strife within the relationship. By 18, I became pregnant and had an abortion. A year later, I became pregnant for the second time and once again had an abortion. A few months later, I tried committing suicide, but God had other plans for His daughter.

Fast forward through many twists and turns – rehabs, hospitals, homelessness, and searching for any other answers besides Jesus. I turned to New Age, witchcraft, tarot cards, crystal “healings,” divination, numerology, and astral projection. This left me even more empty, and continuing to seek “an answer.“ “Jesus” came up in a (new age) book I was reading – I knew they weren’t telling the whole truth, and I began seeking Him.

I got baptized, and then I became pregnant again. This time I decided to keep this child, and I trusted God would make a way. Alaya Grace was born on June 17, 2020.

On April 3, 2021, Pat passed away from an overdose. Two weeks later, my roommate passed away, also from an overdose. I could not understand why, and I went back to the worldly comforts of drinking and weed. But they were no longer comforting me, and I began crying out to God for help. Then I was ready to surrender and brought to Barbara’s Place at America’s Keswick.

Here God gave me the rest my soul needed and showed me to let go of the things of this world and seek His Kingdom first. “Being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).

Now, God has provided me with a job at a Christian school and an apartment for my daughter and me (which was something I was stressing about in BP. He knows our needs, and He is a good Father!). He has made a way for me to go back to school for biblical counseling. The Lord has given me peace that surpasses understanding. Life is not easy, but His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. Jesus has given me the boldness to speak about my past with no shame and only to tell of His goodness! “Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me” (Psalm 66:16).

If you have been crying out to God, He hears you. Repent and turn away from the world and sin. Lift your eyes to Jesus and be amazed. Thank You, God, for Your unfailing love.